Its that time of year again, where the Christian right gets all crazy and rants at length about how the evil secularists and atheists are waging a “War on Christmas” trying to purge all aspects of the baby Jeeh-zus out of Christmas….
Well… duh…. Of course we are, and we want to get rid of Santa and his reindeer too. It is all lies we tell to hide the true darkness of the world, and I’d rather we dealt with that darkness head on. Hiding from the truth of our cold, deadly, meaningless universe doesn’t help anyone.
This song is about that…. although taken a little too literally to push the absurdist nature of the whole thing to the extreme.
Bah! Humbug!
Lyrics:
Verse 1:
Deck the halls with machine gun nests
Give Santa a bulletproof vest
Hide yourself under the pine tree
Cos we’ll blow your holiday to debris
Chorus:
The war on Christmas
The war on delusion
The war on Christmas
The war on stupid lies
Verse 2:
Joy to the world from his death
Baby jesus will take his last breath
Mary, Joseph and the shepherds too
A seasons mourning when we are through
A nice ballad.
Kinda.
Lyrics:
Verse 1:
Give into right brain
No longer can strain
Bleed it, bleed it
Cede it, cede it
Things not seen eviction
Give up contradiction
Need it, need it
Fucking exceed it
Chorus:
I used to have dreams
But that was before
I’ve had many dreams
Watch another one fall
Verse 2:
Push on to new life
Sharpen the knife
Pill it, pill it
Thrill it, thrill it
Awaken from all hope
Rapid movement can’t cope
Kill it, kill it
Fucking fulfill it
SIXTY-NINE DUDE!
And in celebration of reaching such a…. special…. number, I present for your enjoyment a bluesy instrumental, with a splash of funk and a good hard thrust of shred for the climax.
As for what its about…. well…. lets just say its a special kind of special hug, the one that only comes around once a month, and leaves a mess that looks a little like the title of the tune 
What else did you expect me to do for song number 69?
Majority rule…. don’t work in mental institutions….
I know this song was originally about Mr Bush, and I know this song was originally a fast punk tune by NoFX.
My version is…. different. Its about politicians in general, and the media led culture that they and their corporate masters have fostered to control us. Mark my words, the new guy is just like the old guy.
Despite how much Barack Obama wants to talk about change, his biggest supporters are the same old white men on wall street, and nothing substantial will be different.
It may even get worse.
Of course, musically my version is also different…. more of an industrial grunge punk dirge…. or something….
Wherein our hero sings about how gravity is a just a theory, and that the only real explanation is that intelligent beings (who are obviously invisible) are actually pulling us down.
Of course, it is all just a parody of Intelligent Design…. with my own weird metal style, and the famous Wilhelm scream
But what else do you expect from an atheist musician?
Lyrics:
Verse 1:
Keep pulling down
Keep reaching out
Stop the bias
Stop Newton-ese
Chorus:
Intelligent falling
Pulled down by the fairies
The force is a theory
Gravity will fall….
Verse 2:
Grabbing their minds
Gravitic lies
Give equal time
Give faith a try
Bridge:
Reducing the complex flagellum
Inducing the sarcastic theorem
Increasing the logical thinking
Destroying the design bullshitting
